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I'd like to think of this as theology instead of as lazy scripting, yet the dialogue is so deadening, the characters are so astonishingly cardboard, and the denouement is so sanctimonious that there's no mistaking Legion for anything other than a moronic pile of shit. See, Archangel Michael (Paul Bettany) learns of God's aforementioned dumbass plan and decides to head 'em off by dropping down on top of some kind of armoury and cutting off his own wings. Brilliant. Once he arrives at the diner, Bob is bickering with his An Unfinished Life man-friend life-partner Percy (Charles S. Dutton), as old married couples will, about television reception when what should happen but a demonic old lady starts spider-walking on the ceiling. When fourteen-year-old Linda Blair said "cunt" in 1973, it was pretty shocking; when elderly Jeanette Miller does the same in 2010, it's decidedly less so--particularly since it sounds like she's talking into a bucket in an echo chamber. It's a decision a special-effects guy makes: sex up the prestige at the expense of the set-up. Like the moment where greasy city-slicker Howard (Jon Tenney) gets himself crucified on an inverted cross, beset with boils, and then exploded like Paul McCrane post-mutation in RoboCop. Michael's come, it seems, to protect redneck cupcake Charlie (Adrianne Palicki), eight months with the child who will somehow prove to be Man's salvation. And he's armed with a blank stare, lots of guns that Stewart never tires of camera-fucking, and no plan.
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